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Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Sun-Times - Forget the Kids, Couples -- Sex is More Important

-By Warner Todd Huston

We have been focusing on politics quite a bit of late in our conservative pundit circles. Of course, we have an election upcoming and a lot of serious forces of evil facing us effecting our foreign policy choices, so it is understandable. As the old Chinese curse goes; May you live in interesting times.

Anyway, that is all well and good, but we should not lose focus on the other, societal issues that we face on an ongoing basis where it concerns our Media and their inability to reflect the mores of the average citizen as well as the radical social agenda they constantly push.

Such is the case with the latest Chicago Sun-Times article by Dr. Laura Berman, the Paper's sex consultant. Titled "For a healthy marriage, put your spouse before your kids", Berman starts her piece off with the following endorsement:

"It's a radical concept to put your husband before your children, but one that I endorse."

Berman, a sex therapist, indulges in the recurrent trends of the intelligentsia's focus on personal satisfaction often at the expense of the family, and the Sun-Times is only too happy to give her the platform from which to do it.

Berman ruefully exclaims...

"Kids are taking a bite out of their parent's marital satisfaction. And contrary to popular belief, you do have a choice in the matter."

modern intellectual movement, supermodel Heidi Klum, in her piece. Thinker, Heidi, puts her husband "No. 1" and Berman cooingly states that she likes Klum's thinking. It always seems a non sequitur to claim that one likes a runway model's "thinking", but Ph.D., Berman, claims the sentiment, none-the-less.

Berman paraphrases Klum to the point that a couple's sex lives should come first, before the children. This kind of "meism", where a couple is told sexual needs are more important than the Kid's needs and that the couple should satisfy themselves before they worry about those rug-rats, is the kind of selfishness that leads to the divorce rates that Berman mourns later in the piece.

Berman does make some good points, to be sure. Sex is a very important part of a marriage. Without a satisfying sexual relationship it is sure that a marriage is built on a shaky foundation. We humans are, after all, sexual creatures and sexual fulfillment is important. We all need to feel desired, wanted, and most of us truly wish to feel that our partner sees us before all others in the l'amour department.

But, where Berman, like so many of her colleagues, gets it wrong is to assume that sex is any more important than the kids, paying the bills, getting the car fixed or any of a myriad of other things that makes up the priorities and necessities of everyday life in a marriage.

Sure, we married couples should not forget a little cuddle time when the kid's needs are met, but phrasing this in the language of placing sex as "No. 1", as if the kids should be second because those evil little buggers "take a bite out of parent's satisfaction", is a misleading and, ultimately, destructive sentiment to pass off as serious marital advice.

The whole ball of wax in a marriage is important. Men should be taught, just as women are, how important the children's well-being really is and that they should temper their more selfish needs. Berman seems to excuse men as too much the neanderthal for this because she says we have a "more biologically driven sex drive" as if to say we are too stupid to understand what is truly important. And, in a me first society, it might appear that this is so. But, in societies where the family is important, men know how to do for their children just as Mothers do.

Couples are not stupid and they should not be taught that in a relationship their "needs" should be indulged in at the expense of those of the familial unit. Sex is no more "No.1" than the kids are, or paying the bills is. It's ALL important. They ALL have their place and they should all be relegated to that place.

In any case, I find Dr. Berman indicative of too many Jerry Springer love councilors. Nothing matters but getting your bang on. Everything else is less than "No. 1".

And, thank you Sun-Times for further degrading what is important in the nuclear family.

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