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Monday, August 21, 2006

 

Trendy Village Seeks To Banish The Pleasingly Plump

- By Frederick Meekins

According to reports, a trendy Chicago suburb voted "the sexiest suburb in America" may be on the verge of banishing from its venues of commerce those not conforming to arbitrarily contrived body aesthetics.

Lane Bryant, a retailer known for marketing clothing to full-sized women, has been denied the opportunity to open a store in a development called "The Village Of Oak Park".

Before the hypercapitalists decide to slit my throat as they are wont to do whenever anyone dares to question a decision made by big business, it must be noted that the decision to deny Lane Bryant the retail space was not made by a private sector firm or entrepreneur but rather by the committee managing the village, an entity quasigovernmental in nature.

The bureaucratic mouthpiece for the community association told the press that, "Lane Bryant is not the kind or quality of shop that is desire for development," and, "We want a more broad based retailer benefiting the village, rather than a niche market."

In other words, "Fat chicks, keep out." For unless the Village --- a term as almost as nauseating as COMMUNITY as it is usually invoked by an insular elite out to micromangage the lives of those residing in a particular locality --- is planning to open a Wal-Mart or a Target (places these Communitarian types despise even more than the overweight), by definition the retailer would otherwise serve a niche market...........................
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