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Monday, January 08, 2007

 

Revision of My Announcement for the Presidency

- By Vince Johnson

REVISION OF ANNOUNCEMENT MADE JANUARY 1, 2007

In last weeks REALITY FACTOR, I indicated I would announce my candidacy for President of the United States sometime in May 2007. After considerable inner deliberation, I am having second thoughts.

As soon as I announced that I would "announce" in May 2007, people started asking questions. One of the first reveals the problem: "Who would I appoint as Secretary of the Treasury?" I had planned to appoint Donald Trump. But when I realized this idea was based on my secret desire to fire him, I began to think it might be wise to re-consider. Maybe Bill Gates would make a good choice. If we ran a little short on cash, he could bail us out.

Then somebody asked me who I would pick as a running mate? This stopped me cold. No matter who I picked, it would make half the electorate mad. If he were a Liberal, all the Conservatives would get upset. If it were a Conservative, all the Liberals would get upset. If he were an Independent, all the Liberals and all the Conservatives would get all riled up in a rare moment of unified uproar. If it were a man, most of the women would be insulted. If it were a woman, most of the men would be insulted...........

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